It's about time.

I don't know how much of my heart I will leave here, but pieces of it keep breaking off. Seoul stars don't exist, much like how New York stars are mere historical memory. For once I'll miss some of the people, and yes, as always, I will miss this cityscape--one that I was just starting to get accustomed to. No, there isn't an answer or I am living with the peace that I've already found it, and well, everything else is just ancillary.

"His goal in life was to be an echo...the cheap sunset on the television set"


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Let's start over:

It's 10:33PM and I'm exhausted beyond belief. I find myself collapsing every time I go on to my bed and opening my eyes only to find out that 7 hours have passed. Went to Bongeunsa after work for the first time and thought it was ineffably serene and---beautiful doesn't capture it. Every day feels like some count down. This is the last Monday night I'll ever spend in Korea. That was the last glace I'll ever have at COEX, sitting on the circular sculpture, waiting for some guard to kick us off. My final Ivy reading class will be on Friday; it will also be the first time I go to Circle. Tomorrow I will have fried chicken and beer and go to jjim jil bang. Thursday will be the leeum and wednesday will be itaewon. I finally feel like a tourist, even though I work every day from morning til late; regardless I am seeing centimeters of Seoul, walking her body with the little steps my fingers take, on her map, on her unrelenting topography. The body as memory--remember body that you were once loved, and remember Seoul, how the heat was never too cruel for you, though the sun was. Is it true the every city becomes--well, I am not so charming--but is it true that every city becomes a girl? These trees are her pubice--a corporeal history--and the vectors we call roads are markers of her asphalt veins run on modernity and globalism. I've lost my way here.

Let me start, once more:

Dearest S,

I've cheated on N, but please don't tell her that. Kisses under your halogen cast umbra.


All my love,

D